


Everytime we touch

by furiousflamewolf



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26484370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiousflamewolf/pseuds/furiousflamewolf
Summary: There is only one person that Sascha wants to see after the lost US Open final.
Relationships: Alexander Zverev/Mischa Zverev
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Everytime we touch

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Everytime we touch, Cascada

Walking through the empty corridor back to the locker room Sascha felt empty. He was functioning on autopilot, his racket bag feeling heavier than ever. Hugo's and Jez's footsteps echoing off the walls felt louder than ever. Of course Sascha was happy for Dominic. The Austrian was his friend, still the burden of having been so close yet so far was crushing to him. 

Hugo and Jez hugged him and ruffled his hair in comfort as Sascha sat down on the bench. Hopefully his parents hadn't watched him fail. After gentle pats on the shoulder and rubs on his back, Sascha was left alone barely being able to hold it together. He missed his parents. He missed his dogs but above all else he missed Mischa. His brother would have hugged him to his chest now, whispering comforting words into his ear.

The first tears made their way down his cheek slowly as Sascha stared into nothing, his phone in his racketbag ringing and snapping him out of his thoughts.

Mischa.

Of course it was Mischa. It would always be Mischa. It was about 3 in the morning in Monaco but Sascha was so grateful to not be alone now. Sascha swiped across his phone to accept Mischas videocall, of course his brother wanted to see him and wouldn't be satisfied with just a plain old call. Sascha was not even sure if he could talk. His throat constricted and he sobbed. Mischa looking at him alert, his eyes full of worry. The younger avoided the screen, facing the floor the hand not holding his phone covering his face.

"Sasch", Mischas voice was breaking already, "Sasch please don't cry please…"

Something in Mischa broke. He wished he would have been there with Sascha, sitting next to him on the bench. He needed to touch and feel. He should have been there, all of them should have. Sascha shouldn't be suffering on his own. But Mischa had, had to take care of their parents. 

"Sasch. Baby please talk to me."

For the first time after what felt agonizing minutes Sascha looked back up at the screen. His eyes red and puffy. Stray tears were running down his cheeks as he brushed some locks out of his face to look at the screen. 

That petname, it was only reserved for when they were alone. In either of their rooms sheltered from the world because no one would ever understand what they felt for each other. Now Mischa was saying it through his phone not even caring if someone would hear him.

"Baby I need you to be ok please. I'd take the next flight just to be there with you and take you into my arms. I love you Sasch. I am so proud of you."

Sascha managed a small smile. God he hadn't wanted to worry Mischa like that but Mischa knew him like no one else did, he knew that Sascha would get lost in his own head. Blaming himself. The younger wanted to hide in his room, tucked under a blanket and listen to Mischas voice until he fell asleep but it wasn't that easy he still had the post match interview until he could hide. Fishing his headphones from his bag and with Mischas calm, reassuring voice in his mind Sascha managed to survive those 15 minutes. 

The walk to his room felt longer than usual. Sascha was tired, his legs felt like lead and he was sure everyone had seen that he had cried. Finally after the door to his room was closed shut, Sascha dialed his brother again setting the phone on the sink to splash some water on his face. Mischa observing him with worried eyes. The younger moved them to the bedroom before searching through his suitcase and fishing out a shirt. It was pulled over his unruly head before he settled into bed, the phone in front of his face.

"Is that... ??", Mischa began but his throat was constricting when tears fell from Saschas eyes again.

"I grabbed it the last night before flying out. I actually have two. Slept with one every night but the smell has faded already so I am wearing this."

Sascha had stolen two of Mischas shirts just to have them with him for comfort. 

"Can I be in Monaco already ?? I just want to hug you Mischa. The flight back will be terrible."

Mischa knew why. Sascha and his demons. Mocking him. Telling him he wasn't good enough. Mischa knew what people said about his brother.

Spoiled brat. Entitled brat. He was a good for nothing. He didn't deserve to be where he was just because people didn't like him. No one ever saw the hard work he put up. Everyone forgot his achievements. The titles he won. They would only remember his losses and failures. 

But not Mischa. Never Mischa. Mischa had always known that his brother would do it someday. Had been his greatest supporter thats why it hurt so much. Not being there for his little brother in the biggest moment of his career. 

"I miss you", Sascha whispered. The younger had crawled under the blanket and was laying on his side, half of his face buried in the pillow. Locks of hair obscuring the eye that was looking at the phone. Mischa wanted to brush them out of his brothers face. Frame his face and kiss him slow and gently. Give him all the love he deserved.

"Tomorrow baby. We will see each other tomorrow."

Sascha tried to stay awake, he really did but the final and the loss had him emotionally drained. With Mischas soft voice in his ear he fell asleep, the phone clutched in his hand tightly. Mischa didn't disconnect the call immediately. He watched over his baby brother like a good older brother should despite it being 5 am already. At least while sleeping Sascha wasn't hurting anymore. 

"I love you."

The flight back was long and quiet. Sascha had chosen to keep Mischas shirt under his hoodie. Music was blaring from his headphones, his hood covering his head and obscuring part of his face. Sascha pressed his face against the glass, he just wanted to be home in Mischas arms already. 

He had missed his parents and his dogs too but he had missed Mischa the most. 

The music was still blaring from his headphones, his hood still covering his head, Sascha was not in the mood for the press. At least Mischa had texted him that he would pick him up. Sascha should have been happy. He was happy but he was sure he would lose it and cry like a baby in Mischas arms, embarrassing himself and possibly giving them away. 

Like expected Sascha spotted Mischa instantly. His brother had also chosen to hide his face with the hood of his sweatshirt. His eyes lit up when he spotted Sascha. The younger felt sick. His head was spinning and he wanted to run to the bathroom to throw up. The weight and guilty of the loss were killing him. He was trying not to cry in an airport full of people. 

Mischa grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed Sascha against his chest. The younger hiding his face in Mischa neck, his whole frame shaking his hand curling around the fabric of Mischas sweater. The older grabbed his brothers luggage, curled an arm around his shoulder protectively and lead them to the car. Sascha was greeted with black fur and dogs barking and crying. Pressing his face into Löviks black fur the younger sobbed. The dog licking his masters cheek in comfort. Mischa started the car, his long fingers running through his brothers hair who dropped his head on his shoulder and just breathed out. 

The car ride was quiet. Mischa didn't even switch on the radio. Lövik and Junior were asleep in Saschas lap. Mischa tried not to look at his brother or they would crash. Sascha hadn't really shown him his face and to be honest Mischa didn't want to see his brother hurting. The younger moved in his sleep and Mischa placed a huge hand on his brothers knee to calm him down. He kept it there for a little while until the finally reached Saschas house. 

The younger was moving like a zombie. His arms being taken up by the dogs. His head hanging and his steps slow and tired. Mischa took care of the luggage when he found his brother curled up in bed, the dogs still pressed to his chest. His shoulders were shaking. The older rounded the bed and sat next to him, a hand on his shoulder.

"Sasch…"

Gently the hood was lowered by Mischas hand. The headphones were placed on the nightstand. Sascha had pressed his face against the covers so Mischa couldn't see him. 

"Look at me. You said you wanted to hug me. I want to hug you too. Properly without having to worry about being recognized or it seeming weird."

Mischas heart shatters upon seeing his brothers face. Saschas eyes are bloodshot, dark circles are under his eyes. He looks exhausted and lost. His eyes avoiding Mischas. The older tips his brothers chin upwards to meet his eyes. Tears started to fill Saschas eyes and Mischa crushes his brother against his chest. Kissing his head as the tall but slim frame in his arms shook. Sobs tearing from Saschas throat.

"It's ok baby it's ok you are home."

When Sascha had calmed down he had pillowed his head on Mischas chest. His eyes feeling heavy. Sascha looked up at his brother. Without warning he sat up and turned around. His hand grabbing Mischas neck and smashing their lips together. Mischa squeaking in surprise before relaxing. Sascha needed comfort. Turning them around Mischa sat on the bed and placed Sascha on his lap. His brothers hands digging into his flesh. After the kiss Sascha had pressed his face into Mischas chest again. 

"I am proud of you Sasch you know that right ??"

Sascha sobbed again but nodded. The older proceeded to lay down, taking Sascha with him. The younger being pressed against his side. Mischas arm curling around his waist protectively. A blanket was thrown over their bodies. While Mischa fell asleep, Sascha stayed awake observing his brother. His fingertips ghosting over the older ones face. Mischa was laying on his back, his arms outstretched and even in the darkness of the night he looked beautiful.

The shame and guilt are still overly present and Sascha rolled out of bed. His footsteps waking Lövik who trots after his master and follows him into the kitchen. With his head in his hand Sascha sits at the kitchen table, Lövik in his lap. He still hadn't called his parents. Just the thought of that made him tear up and he hides his face in his arms. A hand on his shoulder makes him flinch.

"Sasch. Baby why are you here ?? Lets go back to bed, come."

Mischa holds his hand out and Sascha takes it, his legs feeling like jelly. Mischa steading him by pulling him up against his side. Both of them settled into bed again. Sascha head on Mischas chest as his brother ran a hand through his hair.

"I am glad you didn't win this time."

Sascha lifted his head and looked at his brother in disbelief. Mischa placing a huge hand on his cheek gently.

"Let me explain Sasch."

The younger nodded. Letting Mischa continue. 

"I want you to win when all of us are there to cheer you on. Not miles away. I know Jez and Hugo were there and they would have been so happy but you deserve to win when all of us are there. When the fans are there. You deserve it more than anyone."

"We'd have a problem then", Sascha whispered making Mischa look up confused.

"If I won with everyone there I wouldn't be able to control myself Meesh. I'd probably want to kiss you in front of thousand or millions of people plus our parents and team. Thats very dangerous."

Mischas eyes softened and he laughed making Sascha laugh too.

"Thats what you are thinking about ?? Celebration kiss ??"

"You know I wouldn't be able to hold back. Not after such a win. I'd want to celebrate it with the most important person in my life. You Mischa."

Mischa choked. He tried not to tear up. He had no doubt in his mind that Sascha would do that. Kiss him in front of a thousand people and their parents. It scared him. This was supposed to be their secret. No one would ever know. Still the thought of Sascha wanting to kiss him when he became champion made Mischas head spin. 

"Ich liebe dich, Sasch."

For the first time in days Sascha smiled. Leaning in to kiss his brother. 

"Ich liebe dich auch."

The pain of having lost was still very present but Mischa always made the pain bearable. For now Sascha was content being back in his brothers arms. 

Everything else could wait. His time would come and he knew that Mischa would be there for him along the way.


End file.
